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You can't have one person wanting openness and the other wanting monogamy. Steve Dean, a dating consultant who's been in an open relationship for the last few years, said it took a lot of questions from both sides to figure out what would work.
"We [asked what we] wanted, how we wanted it, what are the things that we foresaw ourselves wanting. How do we expand the relationship, or contract it, to suit our emotional needs? ” James*, who is in an open marriage and a member of the group Open Minded, echoed Dean's sentiment while talking about how he and his wife decided to open their marriage up.
"It kind of all started with bedroom talk," James said.
I tested the waters of Tinder and quickly came to realize that my idea of monogamy and other people’s’ ideas of monogamy were pretty incompatible. In researching my sexuality, I came across the idea of polyamory. I saw monogamy and the cultural beliefs I had been conditioned to accept as my supervillain.